During the audition drought of July, I helplessly sat on my bed and realized that my strategy of consistently showing up to auditions and doing nothing else – was starting to wear me out. My friends kept telling me that it takes an unknown and sometimes long time to get your first gig, and I was finally starting to accept that. And so by the end of July I took a break form New York and flew to Israel to be with my family and friends. In those three weeks and a half in August, I enjoyed the calming embrace of home, and for the first time in a while, I could breathe again.

Upon my trip back to New York, I was excited to be returning to the city for the first time. The benefits of having been here already were paying off one by one: I had a phone and a bank account, I knew my way around town, and I had a network of friends to reconnect with.

Coming back after a long break was not something I took for granted. I knew that by just doing so, I was already stating my intention to keep chasing my dream. I also knew that if I wanted to maintain my effort to integrate into the local industry, I had to plan a sustainable lifestyle, that would include a steady income, which I knew would result in a decrease in my availability to attend auditions. However, having stability on the long run seemed better to me than having another turbo rally of auditions. And so since I have returned I have been dividing my time between sparingly measured auditions, and a simultaneous search for a part time job.

To my surprise, taking a semi-step back had resulted in some semi-steps forward. After reaching out to the creator of a New York based web-series, I got invited to audition for an episode, and ended up getting a part in it. It may not be Broadway, or a role in a Musical, but it’s going to be some good experience and hopefully another good connection in the business and in the city.

I’m also getting close to finding that part time job Iv’e been looking for. With help from a friend whom I met over a holiday meal, I was connected with a bounty hunter who has helped me bolster my administrative resume, and will be sending job offers my way.

The thought of eventually having to close off certain days of the week in order to maintain a future job has been intimidating. What would I do if there were an important audition on a work day? Would I be sacrificing a chance to get cast in a show? What happens if I get a show two weeks into my new job? What happens if my first Job on the stage is part of a tour?

The answers don’t really matter, but those are some important questions which reflect the price I’m willing to pay for stability. One of the biggest lessons I learned from my first four months here, was that you can do a perfect audition and still not be what they’re looking for. So rather than assuming I might be perfect for a role in a show which will be holding auditions on a work day – I’m better off maintaining that stability and trying my best in the auditions that I can attend. Who knows – maybe I’ll be just what they’re looking for.